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The Stable Must be Cleaned: A Call for A Refocusing of NISIG National

To jump-move forward, a step backward is a must. As a group, it is urgent to critically look at the immediate past, with a view to better the community for the now and future. It is in no member’s interest if the group is run aground willfully, unwillfully, intentionally or unintentionally. Like the saying goes, the road to hell is full of good intentions. We know better.

Lets call a spade a spade. The NISIG Summit 2017 in Hamburg was not well planned nor executed. It failed in many aspect. This Summit, which holds once in a year is organized by NISIG National, the umbrella body which takes it place of pride in the fact that it joins the different NISIG chapters together and represents them as the face of the chapters in the public, particularly when the chapters must speak as one.

The conclusion of an awful and a completely left-footedly planned 2017 Summit in Hamburg is based and justified by the multiple dissenting voices registered via posts and comments on the group’s page on Facebook, a closed group to which only members of the association have access. NISIG is the short for Nigerian Scholars in Germany, a registered association as a not-for-profit association under Germany’s laws, for which a tax-free status is enjoyable so long the association abides by the rules under which it is registered.


Incumbent President of NISIG National, Mr Ayansola Ayodeji. The president and his team, the executive body are working tirelessly since their inauguration to clean the stable left behind in order to refocus the scholar association which represents thousands of Nigerian students and scholars in Germany Source of Photograph: Facebook

It is noteworthy that there are 16 federating states in Germany, each federating state is entitled to have a chapter, operating as semi independent chapter, umbrella-ed under NISIG National. There are states in which the presence of Nigerian students are less strong. In such states, it is acceptable for a city or cities to form a chapter of NISIG and they are in theory accorded status of a state chapter. The big purpose of the association is bringing Nigerian scholars and students alike together in Germany to synergize them for the immediate benefit and common good of both countries, and long term for the greater benefit and common good of Nigeria at large.

Going back to the Hamburg Summit, the president of NISIG National, who coordinated the organising, pre-, during and post summit planning, was Mr. Kolade Moses Ogun, a Nigerian, resident in Germany. He was assisted by his team, called the executive body. He managed the affairs of the association as president for a two-term tenure. He has since not responded to any of the posts, comments or anything of such on the summit on Facebook, as members of the group demand answers to the myriads of questions that lay heavy on their mind, some of which are posted on the group page on Facebook.


Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses, Ex-President. He is currently threatening a legal action against a member of the association who he claims defamed him because the member expressed his opinion on a closed Facebook group that the financial report submitted to the members of the association was an insult to the intelligence of the members. Efforts to persuade Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses to withdraw the case and settle inhouse is so far fruitless. Source of Photograph :Facebook

(Edit: The Organizing Committe of the Hamburg Summit posted a purported response on Facebook. It is a reponse which refused to answer the questions asked but dived into name calling, mind-guessing people’s intention and ultimately suggesting how the Facebook page of the association should be ironfisted-ly managed.)

However, an active member of the group reported that he got letter from the lawyer of Mr. Kolade Moses, who is now ex-president of the association, in which it was quoted that the member is being charged for character damage and defamation of personality. This further buttress the fact that Mr. Kolade Moses Ogun is not unaware of the questions and demands for answers to the questions being asked his administration while in charge of NISIG National. He only chose a different channel to attend to them, one of which is intimidation and indirect verbal blackmail. Permit a question: Where else could a member of an association raise issues that need to be attended if not in spaces that house members of the association? A closed Facebook group is one of such space. A WhatsApp Group, if any, is such space. The official E-Mail of the association is another of such space. Private messaging does not belong in this regard, because this is a not a private matter.


In a letter made available, Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses parades himself still as president of the association although he has handed over in a publicly contested free and fair election. The election chairman is kindly requested to clear the air on this matter.

(Update: Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses, although having handed over officially in the presence of the whole of NISIG in an election fairly contested and won, still as at November 2017 in a letter parades himself as president of the association in order to pursue a court case wanting a member to renounce a statement made on this platform. In fact, he sent via his lawyer a written piece and confirmation, showing he was still president as at when he engaged a lawyer to legally pursue a case with this member for having aired his opinion in this closed space. If Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses still saw/sees himself as president as at when he was no more president or expected to be, what exactly is going on here in NISIG National? Who is the president? Who is still in charge? Are we being ruled by Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses still? Has he indeed handed over? Mr. Babajide Moibi, the Election Chairman should kindly enlighten us on this matter as at when the tenure of Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses expired and when that of the incumbent Mr. Ayansola commenced. We are in the dark on this matter.)

By the way, this is for the record, the data of the member Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses intends to sue/sues, was suspectedly gotten from the data submitted to NISIG National. Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses instructed his lawyer to send a letter to the place work of the member, a letter whose content demands that this member purportedly defamed Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses; a letter which clearly shows that it is from a lawyer to a place of work of a member he once sworn to work in his interest and benefit does not speak well of the image we want to project as NISIG National. I have questions: Does this not border on abuse of data protection policy? Who gave Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses the address? Who ordered Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses to use the address of a member in this manner? Did Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses took permission from the owner of the address or from NISIG National before using this address? Why did Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses acted in this manner? Many questions, but few or no answers.

Since this reported incidence, it is not uncommon for members of the association to express their opinion by expressly posting a caveat or a disclaimer before going ahead to air their view. Apparently, Nigerians are technically being silenced and threatened with legal action because they have chosen to associate with a course to benefit their country of origin, namely Nigeria. And to think that these members are now being cowed by a former president, who should be furthering progress and growth of the association, leaves much to be desired. To even think that Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses did not first explore other means of negotiation and dialogue, which is the responsible thing to do as a one-time leader of the association calls for great concern. What does he intend to achieve by dragging a member to court? Why did he leave out relatively peaceful means of conflict resolution? (given that an expressed opinion in a close space could be seen as a conflict). Does this in anyway have anything to do with his personal ego? Has he before now attended to issues in similar or related manner? What experience did/do members have with him? Does any member have reasons to be worried for being in NISIG National space? This is not the way to go.

Recently, a financial report was shared to members on the Hamburg Summit. A member, who apparently was not happy with the way the association’s money was expended, in the member’s subjective opinion, he surmised that bulk of spending clearly was a tailored wastage or near willful reckless spending, posted on the Hamburg Summit thus:

To the organizers (plural) of the last NISIG Summit in Hamburg + whom it may concern: I have some few questions after going through the financial reports document named “NISIG Summit Report Hamburg 2017.xlsx”:

– 250€ for 5 Persons Small Job-Registration: Why did we have to hire external labourers to do a job that could have been done by NISIG members (perhaps for free)? All they did was get people sign in on a paper, gave out paper bracelets in return, stood around. What part of that could have been too difficult to handle by NISIG members?

– 50€ for Small Job-Bar Keeper: see above! A NISIG member could have volunteered to do this and gained access to free drinks all night in returns as renumeration instead of paying money. Why did we have to hire someone for this? I was glad the lady was helping out, being an old friend of NISIG, unbeknownst to me it was a paid job
– 257,90€ + 184,00€ + 201,00€ (total of 642,90€) for transportation of the speakers: can we have/see the receipts to these costs?

– 104,24€ for lost borrowed items from the university: How could we have misplaced such equipments? Why was there information about this? Everyone could have joined in searching for these stuff. Could we see the receipts of the replacements? Or the bill from the university?

– 80€ for graphics: A member admitted that his company did the graphics, videos etc. I’d assume at this point he’s still a member and he pays his half-yearly dues. I’d assume he wants to see the NISIG-movement and dream progress. My opinion: this could have been done for little to no amount. Yeah a run company has to make profits, I get it. There are many other members that could have rendered these services for free. I could have gotten a friend to do it for free. Why did we not ask OUR members if anybody was interested to do the graphics? It could have motivated some people to get involved and feel important as part of the association.

– 56,99€ for armbands for registrations: Of what essence were these bands? Can we see the receipts?

– 200,00€ for DJ: did we really have to outsource this service? Believe you me, I could have done the same job. I am definitely not condemning anybody here. Why didn’t we ask any member if he could do this? All we needed was just a laptop device since we had every other music instrument in place, for which we’d paid extra 200,00€.

– 130,88€ for Ambiance Designer: I can point at some members that could have done this. This could have been done voluntarily by members only if we had asked. Why did we have to outsource this? Really why?

Expenses we could have DEFINITELY avoided and done without:
– 5 Persons Small Job-Registration: 250€
– Small Job-Bar Keeper: 50€
– Lost borrowed items from the university: 104,24€
– Graphics: 80€
– Armbands: 56,99€
– DJ: 200€
– Ambiance Design: 130,88€
TOTAL: 872,11€

I, (name removed) – an active member of NISIG, need some answers. I’d appreciate that.

(Name removed),
a worried member

PS: I am acting and asking these questions solely as a single member of this beloved association and there’s nothing I want but to see us as an association, a team move forward. This definitely is not the way forward if we have to spend money this way.
PPS: I am not accusing anybody and raising any false claims. I am just asking simple questions and giving suggestions on how we could have minimized costs being an Ijebu descent.

This view sums up what is wrong with the Hamburg Summit in many ways, especially with the planing and execution. Another commenter writes:

I would like to add the following as (Name removed) pointed out as most of my points already.
Form the financial report, I saw multiple courtesy visits made to the Nigerian Embassy in Berlin and Frankfurt this year and last year and I presume other members of NISIG Germany never got any update or matter discussed on “These courtesy visits”, therefore, I would consider them as personal visits.

I and if anyone reading this agree with me: The funds spent for such personal visits by the Excos should be kindly refunded to the NISIG account.
We are all free as NISIG members and Nigerians to visit the embassy any day, anytime, even when they are having a ceremony or visiting dignitaries.

I assume the current NISIG President got the petition sent last month and we are awaiting a response as a silent approach to any of this matter would make it worse.
Lastly, 68 Euros for Ballons, That really got me cracking!

The financial report the commenter referenced in the comment is the consolidated financial report of the association. This document, shared among members as clearly stated in the constitution of the association, is controversial at best; it is still being scrutinized and questions have been raised, calling for a diligent review of the content therein. One item raised by the commenter is the frequented trips to the Nigerian Embassy in Berlin, purpose of which was never reported back to the state chapters of the association or disseminated to dues paying member(s) of the association. Meanwhile, money used to execute the trips came from the common purse of the association.

(Edit: Since the post cited above was made, many commenters have given their piece of mind, and we are no more in doubt what many of them think of the summit. The opinion of manner of management of one person, in the person of Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses does not in anyway supercedes the opinion and views of the people who attended the summit and came up to tell NISIG National what indeed went south with the Hamburg Summit. A leader or an ex-leader would take this in good fate, accepting the wrong, wishing to learn from the errors of the past, attend to issues raised objectively and account in action by opening the books, instead of suggesting subtly and openly reasons why there should be no opening of books as constitutionally allowed. It is fair to say that there is a strong play of ego in this matter. We should be clear though and be quick to remind Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses that the call for accountability and responsibility, in fact a call for a probe, is in no way a personal issue. We want to refocus NISIG National on a solid ground for greater benefit for now and the future. NISIG National is not about him, his ego or any other personal hurt he might have felt or feel.)

It must be said though that the current administration is working to clean the stable left behind by the last administration and lay a solid foundation for future activities of the association. This submission stems from the response to a call for probe and for accountability in the association. It was stated in the response that Mr. Kolade Moses Ogun has been contacted to address the issues raised therein, many of which border on probable fund mismanagement, misrepresentation of office functions and duties among others, set out in the letters which seek to clarify matters arising during his administration, many of which (might) suggest gross abuse of office if left unaddressed in public space. It is hoped that the petitioning members will be furnished with Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses response once made available.

(Edit: The response posted on Facebook by Mr. Oreoluwa Afolayan on behalf of the Hamburg Summit Committee (HSC) is a move in this direction, although much of its content is a distraction from the core of the matters to be attended to, it still is a move in the right direction. The key matters were left out. The books should be opened. Receipts should be attached. If they are lost, they should be clearly stated. If the records were kept only in the heads of the HSC members and later recalled for writing out, it should be so stated. If the receipts and other necessary documents are not going to be released, this should be so said. It is not in the place of the HSC to decide whose audit is better. It is good that the HSC is accountable to the Hamburg State Government. This is not unusual. We should remind them too though that the fund given to NISIG National was gotten in our name, and as the constitution clearly states, members are allowed a look into the books and records of the association if they demand. The HSC, and Mr. Kolade Ogun Moses, should kindly attend to the key matters.)

To point out other areas in which the current administration can and should focus is to refocus the association away from a one-man affair to a communal body, which actually is the set-out goal of the association. To achieve this, it is suggested that the constitution of the association be reviewed. Another important aspect to emphasize in the course of a holistic refocusing of the association is the readiness and willingness to obey the provisions of the constitution without hesitation. Other recommendation is to place a ceiling on certain expenses incurable by the association without the permission of dues paying members or members in whose name the fund is secured. It cannot be acceptable that funds must be exhausted by all means. It cannot be acceptable to leave a backlog of debts for the incoming administration, if this is the case. This clause will save the association from certain misspending and bad expenditure, in short, NISIG National will be saved from objectively/subjectively bad financial decision as is represented in the financial report published and shared to us all. There really can be no justification for an association with an annual budget of less than seven thousand Euro to incur close to 700 Euro (ten percent of its annual budget) to transport and accommodate two persons, whose presence and function at the the Hamburg Summit was definitely not irreplaceable. Another miscellaneous but avoidable discretionary expenses is the purchase of balloon for 68 Euro or a figure in this regard. Pettiness aside, there really is no good reason why a president/HSC who is sensitive to the implication of a careless spending should not be discrete enough to cut out this kind of waste and burden on the association. It must be kept in mind that this is a young association with a lean purse.

Of importance is conflict resolution, negotiation and management in the association. It should be part of the association’s creed that members are not to be sued, threatened, blackmailed, or otherwise by any means on opinion, comments, views expressed in official spaces or reported in news articles or blog post as regarding the association. Of course, this formulation is a loose draft of what should be included in such a legal escape/guard/protection for members of the association, it should be further sharpened and modified as standard documents demand.

This should also be seen as a call on all to comment on this piece ways in which they want the association to be refocused, re-engineered, re-energized and reviewed. If I may, I will suggest in fact that the present administration should via social media ensure that members submit their views and opinion etc as to what they want to see in a reviewed NISIG constitution, the administration should initiate a committee to steer this refocusing effort within a set time and achievable period so that this is realized still before the next summit.

I thank you for your attention.

Ibukunolu Olugbemisola Ajagunna


Lost in Transit? A Long Poetic Conversation on Language, Culture and Identity by Ola Dunni (!SiDOS)


Ms. Oladunni Talabi is a beautiful and wonderful addition to the AhjotNaija!BlogFamily. She is a Doctoral student resident in Germany, young and very-full-of-life. She experiments with different forms of writing; this is one of them: Entertaining while strongly pushing for deep self-discovery/identification and cross-cultural dialogues among other interesting themes

Hasten up,

I’d like to take my shower before we leave

No, it is take your bath, not shower, my friend corrects me

No, it is shower, I insist

No, you shower when you want to cool off your body

And take your bath when it involves scrubbing your body

Whatever, I’m off to the bathroom

Lets continue this English lesson in the bus

Ola I’d like some tea

No I don’t have tea

But I got chocolate if you want that

Well that’s tea, my friend shakes his head at me

No it’s chocolate, I insist

Tea comes in a bag

We argue over this for some minutes

Until I shrug my shoulder, “Whatever leave me be”


Hey Ola

Can you direct me to the closest cafe around here?

Sure, it’s right around the corner after the traffic light

You want to get some bread and coffee?, I inquire

What?, my friend stares at me incredulously

I want to print some documents

Oh! Its a print shop you need and not a cafe

No, its a cafe I need to go


These are the excerpts of conversations

between my newly arrived Nigerian friends and me

For two weeks, I’ve been made to pay attention to my grammar

With the realisation that I’ve picked up the German English

And lost my Nigerian English

Replacing peculiar Nigerian words for German phrases

It doesn’t end there


Wake up, your phone is ringing

The guy slaps the girl lightly on the shoulder

Wake up, it’s your alarm

Wake up, you have a message

I stare at them both incredulously

Why you do you have to wake her up to pick her call?

You should just mute the call and when she wakes, she calls back

Why would I do that?, he replies

Your suggestion is weird

Well, you waking her up to pick a call is weird too

I sigh


The guy is gone to class

Just me and my girlfriend at home

Her phone rings

I am awake so I mute it

She wakes up later

Hey Ola, did my phone ring?

Yeah, you were asleep so I put it on mute

Why didn’t you wake me?, she grumbles

You didn’t inform me that you’d like to be woken up to pick a call,

I replied


Hey Ola, can I use your perfume

My friend shakes my shoulder to wake me up

Is the home on fire?, I ask sarcastically

My sleep ridden face all squeezed

No, but I’d like to use your perfume

You actually wake me to ask this question?

I wasn’t even pissed

I was flabbergasted

You know you should simply use it or leave without using it

Either way, it’s rude to wake me up

I note the differences in our interaction

It will be difficult not to


These differences are very obvious

How I walk, how I interpret and respond to messages

My gestures, short mechanical smile I give to strangers

Do you know that person you just smiled at?

They ask

No, we don’t know each other. It’s just simple mechanical smile

Why you smile then? They ask

The hugs of goodbye and welcome I share with my friends

These ones opening the door without hugging me

Me still talking about the weather while they already gone back to the room

Weird people, I shake my head at them both

You are the weird one, they laugh at me

Why you hugging everyone

You not even in a relationship


My two newly arrived Nigerian friends

Remind me of the fact that I’ve lost the authentic Nigerian identity

Yes, I have a green passport

And I say I am Nigerian to everyone I meet

Holding on to that identity

But I realise I am swimming against the tide

And I am at the point of drowning

My friends tell me every minute

You are not Nigerian

You are so German

You wont fit into the Nigerian society


I have not visited home in 4years

Without my friends showing me what it means to be Nigerian,

I would continue to insist on my authenticity

Telling archaic stories and slangs

No one uses that word any more

They’d laugh at me. This is how we say it

Even your English is all mixed up

It has lost that peculiar Nigerian accent

Your words are pronounced on a very high pitch

Our pronunciations are very flat and low pitched

You are hybrid, just accept it


Then I remember the woman at the train station

On a Sunday morning

Shouting in anger at a young boy

It was a small argument that quickly escalated into a fight

I was tired

It was 5am and I had partied the entire night

All I wanted was to take the bus home in peace

But these two were at it

Exchanging words

And then the outburst

Go back to your country!!!

The woman shouted at the dude

It was obvious his facial structures was Arabian

We all turned in alarm

Shock written over our face

Condemning her in our silence

But of course we said nothing

That’s how it always goes

No one was willing to tell her how terrible that was

Then the dude responded, back to where? Bitch!

I was born here, same as you! I belong here!

I am from Germany!


He was from here

This is what he’s known all his life

But his identity was snatched from him in seconds

And he had to fight to reclaim it

Who knows how many times he’s had to do this?

Fight this identity battle

Telling everyone willing to listen, I belong here same as you

I pondered to myself

He didn’t look fazed

His statement was very flat


So when you say, tell me about Nigeria

I can only tell you about memories

Locked up

Brought out once in a while

Cleaned till it glitters

And locked up again

To be pushed out when the occasion arises


But my Nigerian identity has been contested

By my newly arrived friends

I cannot even eat their food

Neither can they mine

I talk about how we eat pepper a lot

Not realising that I do not eat the Nigerian quantity of pepper anymore

They say my food is bland

I say theirs is too hot

Almost ripping my tongue out

How can you feel the taste of the food if you douse it with this quantity of pepper

They say the pepper is actually the taste

So we decided to cook separately


I do not know what I am

Of course I’m not German

But they say I’m not Nigerian either

And I’d have to learn how to be Nigerian

So I cannot in good faith regale you with stories of Nigeria

Or how it feels to be one

That will be claiming an identity I do not 100% fit into

Neither do I 100% fit into the German society


So I have decided to juggle both

Be the German in the very Nigerian camp

You should lower your voice when you talk

Use your earpiece when you listen to music

Wait for the traffic light, be very time conscious

And be Nigerian in the very German camp

Laugh at the top of my voice, be the pepper eater, invite strangers into my home

This way I have my peace

And I do not have to try too hard to be anything.

BreakingNews: MIN Ambassadors Visit President Buhari in London!

“Agba to so agbado modi, lo so ara re di alawada ediye” Yoruba Proverb

Buhari is clinically dead. No, Buhari is dead. No, Buhari is dead and his handlers wouldn’t let us the people of Nigeria, we voted for him overwhelmingly in the last presidential election, mourn a good man in peace. He actually was an evil man, but one doesn’t talk ill of the dead. He deserved all the good and badwill, he worked his life off gathering them in tons. He was part of Nigeria civil war by the war, a repeat of which Nnamdi Kanu is not calling for, but this same president is encouraging with all his body language and actions, right from Nigeria to London in his dying hours.
Meanwhile, two people from MIN, don’t ask what that is, just Google, (MIN is a very powerful group feared by the Aso Rock Cabal on and off Facebook, if that description epps)they visited Buhari in London, the same Buhari that the Cabal prevented our Dearest Aisha, the wife of our dying president, from seeing. The two MIN ambassadors saw him.


President Muhammadu Buhari

First of all, he’s taking his Nigerian drugs, I mean Buhari is taking his drugs, no fears, the ones that our doctors packed in his aeroplane parked in London hanger, very expensive place to sleep for a Nigerian aeroplane and strange too. No sun, no rain, nothing, nada for the poor aeroplane. We will come to that later.
Meanwhile, Nigerians, knowing what hell the poor creature is facing, have been calling for his immediate retrieval home, I mean the aeroplane, not the person it carried across the ocean, but Femi Adesina, the mouthpiece, whose son is now a pilot, not that the son flew Buhari to London o, he’s not involved, but his father has been talking about him plenty of times these days since Buhari absconded office, it was this Adesina who said Buhari is not dead, as if we needed any confirmation of his being alive, and that tje aeroplane should wait there, not considering what the people are saying. He said many more things which this book cannot contain.
Back to MIN, they saw him and laughed out loud, with the president of course. Who wan die laughing at a sick president! One of the MIN ambassadors is a man disguised as a woman, the president didn’t notice, he’s so sick. If not, he would have been wondering who brought a kitchen material into a hospital space. No respect. Our president is that tactless, no respect for Angela Merkel, Germany’s powerful Chancellor. It was in her presence Buhari shamed his own wife, the wife he married in the right way, Yoruba will say, nisuloka, with yams and yamflower. Poor Aisha I cried when I heard the news and saw the video for myself .
Anyway, this is not about my emotions, back to the president matter. He’s hale and healthy, even Asiwaju is short of words at the moment, Asiwaju The Great. Yoruba oni gbagbe e lailai! It was Obasanjo who gave us Yaradua. Asiwaju topped that in record time. Another dying president sold to us in a beautiful package! APC! The packaging powerful! How did we buy the elephant in the house?! Just how?! All our great people, the intelligentsia in America and Europe and the abroad, they are now calling it what it is, a bad market, but before now, they swore on their own lives that we had no better alternative at that moment.
Meanwhile, one MIN member back then was shouting so loud he lost his voice. He said and I quote: “my people, vote for Jonathan and go and vomit thereafter, it will not kill you if you vomit early enough.” He said so many other great things, like, let me quote again : “APC and PDP are latrines, my people, I advice you as a proud MIN, choose the latrine with two P in it, the one that featured Jonathan as president.” End of quote.
Not that Jonathan was the best Nigeria had to offer, but this MIN member was sincere enough to admit we were already screwed and Jonathan would screw us slower than this unlimited screwing we have been enduring from Buhari since that we can’t take it no more. As I was saying, many many quotes, check them out yourselves on Google, they are everywhere. They littered everywhere some Cabal blocked this selfless Nigerian self for the great effort to save Nigeria from us. That’s history.
Now back to the visit. Buhari spoke not in Hausa this time. He was polite he chose Edo, the language of the Gods, a dialect of The Great Yoruba Language. Alright. Alright. Is alright. No quarrel, yet is not about language or dialect that is not dialect or important, that discussion will come later. For now, it’s about the body language of the president. He’s suffering from speech impairment. Sahara Reporters don’t do fake news. They are real. To be sincere, the president is in bad shape. I have known and seen people in his condition. He deserved all the pity and prayers in the world.
The latter will help no more though. He cursed the Gods too many times they have chosen to ignore any of the latter that involved the name of our president. A tip: When saying a prayer for him, do not mention his name. I repeat, avoid mentioning his name. Just pray.
Some badbelle people are saying the photos from the MIN people are photoshopped. Others say, and so what?! We are okay with them like that. All we are saying is for President Buhari to come home hail and hearty. We love him that much. Dead or alive, just bring hin home, his family doesn’t deserve this shame. Let a good man be brought home with dignity. President Buhari is not like this. It’s people who have been laundering his image since he happened to our public consciousness decades ago. And till today. Lies! Lies!! Lies!!! Imagine how quick bad names stick. Only that in this case, Buhari did all the bad bad things people said. At least, this presidency is a nightmare already, and people are saying this is even childsplay, it pales in comparison to the terribleness of Buhari’s first coming. Is like, the more we are screwed, the juicier it gets for the old and new brigade alike. The politicians and their sidekicks, the people.
I am speechless but not speech impaired. Thank goodness. Anyway, before we lost thread of the conversation, we are still looking for our President, someone said he’s in hiding, seeking asylum in London, some said he’s dying. We are not sure sha, but we know he’s dying. All our Great Dibia from the North are not seeing good things. Imams from the East are speaking with one voice, not seeing anything different. According to Ifa priests from where they are from, there’s tunnel at the end of the darkness. The Babalawo of Osborne is at rest, he believes the Imams and The Dibia and The Ifa priests. Nothing evil, no evil shall happen to our president. Ten thousand shall fall by the right, tens of thousand by the left, none of this shall befall him. I believe too, like the #halleluyahchallenge, Nigeria will survive it. Let us pray.

Taninomo’s Piece of Mind (TPoM): Joy Isi Bewaji vs. Hallelujah Challenge Brouhaha (JIB vs. HCB)

Don’t throw the child away with the bathwater. While many of you are calling for Isi Bewaji’s head because of her rant against the Halleluyah challenge, you seem to neglect the salient lessons. She was wrong to have interfered in the religious business of faithfuls who decided to come together to worship their God. It was not the Ministry of Science and Technology or the Ministry of Education that called the challenge, it was a group of Christians and that is why they called Christians. But she was also right in the rant; religion has to a large extent adversely affected us. It has made us more selfish, close minded and unquestioning.

So, I went to an ‘SU’ secondary school, those schools where the proprietor is an ultra-religious adherent. We had a long list of dos and don’ts. The school directress, who at that time was running her PhD in English, told us not to read Festus Iyayi’s Violence, a NECO prescribed text. Her reason: it was ‘corrupt.’ The intolerance was top-notch; these were people willing to kill with the rod in order to bend you to the mould they think is right.


Hand-in-pocket: Oluwaseun Tanimomo of TPoM

In general, it seems besides salvation a number of Nigerian churches have no other good to offer. Church here means an organized body of people on earth who gather in a place regularly to listen to a scriptural exegete. What obtains in the religious circles in Nigeria and some African countries is different from the reality in Western countries, where Christianity and churches appear to be compassionate. In Germany for example, I know that the Catholic Church and the Protestants have scholarship stipends for students. They have hospitals and organise conferences and fairs. In Nigeria we build big churches and organise big programs year after year. How do you explain to the people that they are the real church when we spend millions adorning buildings? And are those private jets really for evangelism or for jetting out to world capitals where the honorarium is heavy and enticing? Do our super-pastors travel to the villages in Adamawa, the poorest parts of Malawi and Mozambique to preach? It seems to me that the good news is only for the super-rich. That is one other thing I like in my German church; offerings are collected to travel to the very poor, for ‘development aids’. Just look at the good Pope don’t you like him?
Religion for a number of us is a tool for control; a tool to force people into your line of scriptural interpretation. It is the reason we are so quick to fight for our God. Imagine! In my second year at the Obafemi Awolowo University, I had picked a Quran to read, so this boy called Maxwel, who we had all thought to be Ibo and consequently Christian told me to drop the Quran. I smiled and thought the bros was joking until he picked a knife. I like my life! I dropped it immediately until another good Muslim friend, Damola is his name, explained to me that they don’t treat their holy book the way we did ours. I asked Damola why he chose not to stab me instead. After all, they are both Muslim . Damola condemned the action of the violent Muslim.
Still in my second year, a group of student-religious leaders decided for the whole hall that it was wrong to watch adult movies in the common room on Friday nights. They succeeded because they added violence to their quest. This was a hall of residence for students majorly above 18 years. adults. Anyways, we went on a two week break after that, we called it Mojo break.
As a child of about 8years, my mum once left her work to come pick me and my siblings at my grandma’s place in Ijoko-Ota because the Gods of the Ota people did not know it was the dusk of the 20th century. Businesses shut down and a pin-drop silence accompanied by a palpable fear enveloped Sango-Ota area, a midway city to Ijoko-Ota, and its environs. The Oro festival was being held. Talking about Oro festival, I once attended a vigil as a child and Oro visited. They charged at us because there were women in the church. Women should not see Oro. Well, our Pastor’s wife and also a family friend said she was not going to hide that she had rights. Fearless woman! Whether you interpret this as a Westernized Christian woman, disrespectful of her culture, standing in the way of tradition. Or a fearless woman standing for her rights against a patriarchal religion is another matter. I choose the latter.
Family members, friends complain about the gridlock along the Lagos-Ibadan expressway from time to time. True, it might not be the responsibility of the churches to build roads, but I believe these churches have enormous influence on governments.
Whatever shape or form religion takes in Nigeria, it seems that those at the helm of its affairs are one way or the other complicit in the oppression of the people. Our ancestors had seen the tyranny of religion and concluded that religion or whatever deity we choose to serve must be able to save us and make our lives better. Orisa bi o le gba mi, se mi bi o ti ba mi, our ancestors warned. In the act of our ancestors, they preempted a danger of an unbridled deity, hence the insertion of the freedom clause in the design of our Gods. The freedom to choose is important, saving which the head of a particular God may swell and tell adherents to kill or punish non-adherents so that (s)he can be more God.
Christianity, Islam and our traditional religions sure have many positive sides. But to be a slave to religion is to be a slave to unreason. Religion should help and not be a problem. In fact, I am against this seeming adopted Westernized religious manicheeism in Nigeria that clearly divorces reason from feeling, and religion from science. Fact is, science and religion can walk hand in hand and lead humans to a more humane world. It does really not have to be this manicheeism kind of approach as it is presently in Nigeria.


Ayo Sogunro

We should teach the children History, because we cannot determine our destinations if we do not know our origins. We should teach children what we know of history and not what we wish it were. We should teach them not just our personal history but also the history of all humanity: because everyone’s story matters and we can learn even more from the journeys of others. We should teach the children to value the sufferings and pains of the past so that they do not repeat the causes of damage; to value the sacrifice and strength of those who laboured — so that we do not nullify their efforts. We should teach children not to fear the past. The past never changes and acceptance of the past does not diminish the present.

We should teach the children the nature of Being. We should teach them the balance between the mind…

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Corruption-Fight a la Deodorant or Insecticide by Ajibola Fabusuyi


Ajibola Fabusuyi (@Jaybee Deutsch on Facebook) shares his opinion on politics, social happenings and many more on Facebook.

For those who know Arabinrin Onochie, apparently one of the numerous aides appointed to launder the image of Buhari, please tell her that as far as her claim that Jonathan made some people millionaires is concerned, I agree completely. However, those that know her should please read her the Bible passage of removing the speck in the eyes of another while there’s a log in one’s own eyes.

If she still doesn’t understand, then say it to her plainly, but nicely, that she’s only saying things they want her to say, at least, to justify her pay.

Tell her inasmuch as I abhor corruption in all ramifications, I find selective anti-corruption fight even more appalling. Tell her that her Oga PMB didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, unlike many seem to believe.

Tell her her hero, PMB:

-Allowed his ex-Generals, namely Dambazzau and Buratai to go scot-free on corruption in the military while making others pay for same;

-Turned a deaf ear while his Chief of Staff, Abba Kyari use his office to do many shady deals including Foreign Exchange racketeering, Contract scams, and lately, arm-twisting Foreign Missions to pay him millions of our much needed pounds;

-Condoned and even claim witch-hunting when all Nigerians, including his own party men in the Senate Committee called out his SGF Babachir Lawal’s corruption, including embezzling N270million to cut an grass in an IDP camp in Yobe… and how the fellow started playing silly pranks to cover up…

There’s a long list, but let me stop here, at least to explain why many Nigerians have no sympathy for or belief in his so-called anti-corruption fight. No wonder Senator Shehu Sanni (Kaduna Central)’s description of the act as “…treating corrupt people in the opposition with insecticide, while treating our own (corrupt) people with deodorant!”)…

Finally, tell her that in addition to being incapable, lacking in initiative, divisive, egoistic and hopelessly nepotic; her hero PMB is only bent on punishing people in the opposition, who have benefited all the time he contested election and lost. Tell him this mind-set would only make him blind to real picture on ground in Nigeria, and that’s result, as it’s doing already, in absolutely no progress (take a look at Osinbajo yourself, and learn how to be a leader, at least from what I’ve seen so far).

I pray that he (PMB) recovers soon, so that we’d be able to tell him many things he’s done wrongly, including surrounding himself with very childish, hero-worshipping and image-laundering assistants who would never offer him constructive criticisms, but shameless sycophancy, who would not at least allow him to get first-hand suffering of ordinary Nigerians, while he’s busy fighting the already super-rich individuals that would always stay rich anyway, even after partying with a little of their loot or a few months in jail.

Again, I suppose some other hero-worshippers would still attack me on this piece, I dare say, real progress would only elude our country if we keep up with this attitude.

God bless us all.

AhjotNaijaBlog: Originally posted on Facebook by the author.

!Colour Does Matter by Tanimomo Oluseun (TPoM)

Dear There-is-only-one-race-the-human-race White Liberal,

Don’t say there is no colour line because there is. Colour didn’t go with the 20th century. Colour still matters.

It matters in the bus: when white people decide to stand in their numbers in a crowded bus than to occupy an empty space beside a black person. Colour matters when your not-so-young academic mentor, a Doctor is asked if he is still a doctoral student. You see, it seems hard to believe someone that young can be a Dr. and a lecturer.

So you see, unfortunately, colour still matters, besides you were not there when he came to us, that proud white boy. He came to us, my friend and me, to ask if I was a Christian or that religion which Africans practise. No, he didn’t say it exactly that way, he wasn’t that smart; instead, when he wanted to say “that religion”, he waved his hands like a magician conjuring some magical things, he also had no word but I read the contempt and derision all over his face. That religion, we, Africans spill human blood to appease our Gods for. Or something like that, he must have thought. Something he must have fictionized after reading or seeing one of those TV progs where the African story starts media res. No airports, no roads, nothing, only jungles: the stories start and end in the African Jungle! Oh, they love the Serengeti!


Hand-in-pocket: Oluwaseun Tanimomo of TPoM

It was also him, that boy, who asked me if I had watched the Lion King, I told him no because by then I had had an epiphany, a realization of his foolishness decorated with salad cream and icing. So, he wondered how bad the educational system in Africa was because I hadn’t watched “Lion King.” But I was the gentle one, the phlegmatic who soaks bullshit up like a sponge but my friend wasn’t (still isn’t) she gave it to him hard, fast and smart like Okonkwo gives his opponent (by the way have you read Things Fall Apart? Imagine my autocorrect just underlined Okonkwo! Sacrilege! By now, Okonkwo should be a “standard” word, and you say colour doesn’t matter?). She called him ignorant and told him to read more.

Then he told us the story of his girlfriend’s African flatmate who still fries banana in the 21st century. Let me tell you why this matters, “Africans” are close to monkeys, monkeys like bananas you know? So it does matter if there is a German word for plantain – Kochbanane, he didn’t bother to think. So, this his girlfriend’s African flatmate loves banana so much she even fries it in the 21st century! What other way is there to describe an innocent act like frying plantain as primitive if not by placing it in a century that is not this present one. I can write a whole paper on this!

Then imagine that every time I write an essay, I have to check if Smith, Derrida, Kant, Descartes etc. agree or said something about it. I must find a way to inject them into what I write before it looks “theorish.” Imagine reading my essay without any of those guys, no Greek mythology and the likes. You see?!

All these are through my eyes, and I’m gentle and introverted o, I allow things to pass I even rarely talk in class, I instead think about my crush and I under the waters of Erin Ijesa. I don’t make many friends too and I really don’t care because I don’t plan to stay in the West for a long time after my education. So if I noticed and experienced these, now think about what many others experience. Ask those who work here about their experiences for a starter.

And by the way, colour bias is not a white-only thing. So, in 2014, while visiting my aunt and cousins in the UK, I decided to go to church on my own. I charged my Oyster card with 10Pounds on what I had, I don’t like embarrassment. Unbeknownst to me, Oyster cards can’t take you round London. At the Dartford station, it was clearly written on the walls, Oyster cards can’t be used here (or something like that). Long story short, I walked up to two security men, both black, they didn’t ask questions they suspended their brains and started screaming “so you mean you travelled without a valid ticket?”, even though my Oyster card was valid to the station immediately before that. It was a white man that saved me, he advised me to go back one station and I would be fine from there. So why did the black men serve me with a plate of their stupidity marinated in idiocy? Because in their minds, black men don’t buy or use the correct tickets. NB none of my black friends has ever been booked for a ticket offence.

Colour is also the reason some Africans assume that Africans married to whites mostly do so because of papers.

So, my friend, the next time a person says they see colour, don’t tell them it no longer exists and also don’t sermonize about the one human race thing. Just ask them “how?” For that is the sensible thing to do. Sebi you are sensible? Have you eaten?

Editor’s Note: First published on Facebook by, Tabimomo Oluwaseun. This is an unedited publication for the purpose of reaching a wider audience.

Will Twitter kill off African literature?


For you. Thank you.

Reading Chibundu Onuzo’s The Spider King’s Daughter is a sedate but thrilling experience. The senses travel everywhere with this gentle storyteller as she quietly but accurately records the history of contemporary Nigerian dysfunction. At some point, you realize you have been tricked, this is a love story. Romance! This is not your traditional genre of romance literature, where you are told from the first sentence of the book: This is going to be about heart-break and you will love it. Onuzo’s lovely book straddles the no-man’s land between chicklit and serious literature. No, The Spider King’s Daughter is not “serious literature”, as self-appointed purists of African literature would say in the unctuous and supercilious manner that only they can conjure up. This is a compliment to Onuzo. For the weary reader, “serious literature” as it is applied to African writing is fast becoming a pejorative…

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!SiDoS Slams For Girls in Münster Germany

This is For Every Girl Fighting The System


Ms. Oladunni Talabi is a beautiful and wonderful addition to the AhjotNaija!BlogFamily. She is a Master student resident in Germany, young and very-full-of-life. She experiments with different forms of writing; this is one of them: Entertaining while strongly pushing for deep self-discovery/identification and cross-cultural dialogues among other interesting themes

It was the end of the school term
I accompained my mum to my brother’s school
I was four years old
My brother was nine
The three best students for each class were always selected
And prizes awarded amidst claps and encomium
It was the turn of his class
He came second
A girl came first
I was glad, I was proud of him
I clapped so hard my hands began to hurt
My mum wore her pride like a peacock
And marched out with him to receive his prize
But her face was marked with lines of unsatisfaction
Well, must it be because the first position was snatched out of his hands?
I questioned myself
Every parent wants her child to be the best

On our way back home
My mum said to my brother
Congratulations, you did well
But a girl beat you to the first position
A girl
You shouldn’t let that happen next term.
Whats wrong in being a girl?
My four years old brain pondered
Why cannot a girl be the overall best
In an egalitarian society,
My mum would have said
Congratulations my son, you did well
But second place is not the best
Try harder next term
I am proud of your achievement

My mum bought me every kind of dresses
Puffed shoulder, wide- lacy-frilly skirts
But I envied my brother’s trousers and t-shirts
All I wanted was simple t-shirts and trousers
Why couldn’t I have clothes like him
I wailed at my mother
Because you are a girl
She responded
And girls should not wear what belong to boys
I hung my head in despair
Pondering on this argument
Why make this much effort for someone who don’t want it
Well, you don’t have a say in this, she smirked at me
So I wore my dresses and pranced about in my girly shoes
Cussing at my life for being a girl

Visiting the tailor was another scary day
My mum and I always came home mad at each other
I had to make my pick out of the feminine collection
I was always very quick to choose the simple dresses
Can we go now mum
I would say to her
Oh, so quick
She would stare over my head asking me to show her my choice
Well, here it is
I would fume at her
Why not this? She would say
Why that? I would reply
At least now, you can’t question my choice
It’s still from the freaking female catalogue
So can I have my deserved space
I would glare back at her

I enjoyed playing football with my brother and male cousins
Running, jumping and screaming to high heaven
Oh, the scent of freedom and liberty
But my mother wasn’t having any of it
It was all good at the beginning
She didn’t care too much
But whenever an errand needed to be done
It was me who had to go
What a heavy burden
The boys continued with their football
While I quickly went on the errand, returning to join in screaming
One day, the football had to stop
Because you are a girl!
You shouldn’t be jumping around!
You are beginning to grow boobs!
I hate my boobs then!
And would like to cut it out if given the choice
I bared my teeth at her
But then I found a way around her
Whenever she wasn’t home
I joined them
But my long dresses wasn’t made for the sharp turns and twists of football
Often, the ball got buried in my yards of skirts
We had to dig through to find it
But my cousins were super nice
So we came up with a plan
I had to be the goal keeper
Both team wanted me even if I sucked at it
Because my wide skirt did the job of fending off the ball
That’s quite smart right?
Hell yeah
My team always won
My skirts did a very good job
The moment we heard my mother’s car horn
I scrammed into the house
Wiping off my sweat and trying to stabilize my breathing
To get caught was to be flogged
And lectured on the proper way of being a girl for days

Sunday was the Lord’s Day
It was another day to spell out your gender codes of conduct
The pastor was the police
The bible was the constitution
It was a predictable service
I’ve heard it countless times I could become a pastor
Woman, be submissive
Learn how to please your man
Be quiet when he is angry
Give him food when he is hungry
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
For a submissive woman is a woman after God’s own heart
I would dose off mid speech
Waiting for the service to end
So we could go home to eat rice
One Sunday,
My mum said
I don’t want you to sit in the front pew any longer
Well, I don’t care wherever I sat
I would rather stay home
If I had a choice
The back pew would be more comfortable for my sleeping session
But out of curiosity, I asked her why
She said I was disrupting the church with my negative rebellious energy
Well, if your pastor was making sense
Perhaps, you won’t be staring at me during the service
Trying to pin down what energy my body was emitting
I grumbled under my breath

I was always the best in school
I was smart
I had no competition
My report sheet was predictable
Intelligent but rude
The intelligent part always got my mother so proud
But she would shake her head and beg God to change me
I could understand her though
I had one flaw
I was a girl
And girls shouldn’t be considered rude
They shouldn’t have a cause to fight for
They shouldn’t talk back to people
No no no, they shouldn’t even have opinions
I would laugh at her and run into my room
You don’t have to be worried for me mother, I don’t want to be married either

The more I aged,
The more my femaleness became hell for me
So I distanced myself from anything considered feminine
I didn’t want my brother’s penis either
So no, I had no penis envy
I just wanted to do things everyone labeled boyish
And also liked the benefits that came with having a penis
I would sit with my legs wide apart
Strut around like a peacock
Pick up fights with boys in school and on the street
I was tough
I was assertive
And I dared anyone to correct me
So everyone called me a tomboy
And I began to wear the label with pride
Because it meant being different from other girls
It meant power, authority, intelligence and superiority
It meant being able to wine and dine with boys on the same table

But then as I began to put things into perspectives
I realised the problem wasn’t me
The problem was the society and its perception of the female body
I realised being called a tomboy shouldn’t be a label I should wear with pride
I realised whenever I talked, men listened
But whenever another feminine girl talked, she was always shrugged off
I realised there is language and there is language
The difference between the two is how you wield it
I realised that whenever I wrote articles and responded to comments
People always assumed I was male
I always took great joy in telling them I was a girl
Then they would ask again to be sure
Are you sure you are a girl?
And I would puff out my chest in great pride
But then, I stopped smiling whenever my guy friends said
We don’t see you as a girl anymore. You are now part of us.
You belong to the guy club. We can’t date you.
So I would say: No, I am a girl. A girl who doesn’t want to be a boy either
You don’t get to mutilate my female body to consider me equal

This is it: I ran away from my life. The problem
I didn’t run from my female parts. The physical me.
The problem is this: We raise girls to be different from boys
Now, I still love to wear big t-shirts and trousers
And there are days I like to wear dresses and paint my face
It dawn on me that the dresses are not the problem
The problem is the baggage attached to the dresses
The problem is being taught hours hours unend how to rightly be a girl
Investing so much effort in teaching to live life as the inferior gender
Talks like: Keep your virginity. It’s a big price to pay for
Don’t have multiple sex partners or you would be considered a slut
Let a man decide for you what he wants or he might get turned off
For the big price, why don’t you go sell me in the market then?!
Meanwhile, the boy child is left off the hook
He doesn’t need to be taught these things
Only the wings of the girl child must daily be clipped
For the unfortunate reason that she is a girl and must fit the norm

So I reclaim the female parts!
I take great pride in the boobs and vagina!
I love big t-shirts and sweaters!
My favorite color is blue!
I do whatever I want without giving it much thought!

I sit and ask:
What if I was super feminine and liked frilly dresses, and stylish hairdos?
Would I still be taken seriously? Wouldn’t I always have to prove my worth as female?
Why can’t girls be happily girly without their femininity attached to inferiority?
Isn’t this why boys stay miles away from anything labeled feminine?
These asymmetrical relations, that can be traced to no beginning! Will it ever end?

I will say this:
A culture that weighs down a woman to feed the ego of a man is bad!
I am a woman. I sit on the same table with you. As a woman!
I have boobs and vagina! And I will behave whichever way I want!
I will be feminine! And masculine. I will be whatever I want to be!


Ola Dunni of !SiDoS Slams for Girls in Münster Germany in a Spoken Words/Poem Event titled “Kunst gegen Bares”

Na Who Debauchery Epp?

“With these thoughts in my mind I came to Italy and Sicily on my first visit. My first impressions on arrival were those of strong disapproval-disapproval of the kind of life which was there called the life of happiness, stuffed full as it was with the banquets of the Italian Greeks and Syracusans, who ate to repletion twice every day, and were never without a partner for the night; and disapproval of the habits which this manner of life produces. For with these habits formed early in life, no man under heaven could possibly attain to wisdom- human nature is not capable of such an extraordinary combination. Temperance also is out of the question for such a man; and the same applies to virtue generally. No city could remain in a state of tranquillity under any laws whatsoever, when men think it right to squander all their property in extravagant, and consider it a duty to be idle in everything else except eating and drinking and the laborious prosecution of debauchery. It follows necessarily that the constitutions of such cities must be constantly changing, tyrannies, oligarchies and democracies succeeding one another, while those who hold the power cannot so much as endure the name of any form of government which maintains justice and equality of rights.”
Plato, 360 B.C.E.

Plato is wrong! Damn wrong! He jumped too early into conclusions. Ignorant outbursts. SMH. I’m laughing out loud. LOL. LMFAO. He never was in Nigeria before making this ignoramus of a statement, in fact of himself. He should have waited, or traveled a little farther. He didn’t walk enough. He would have met the great people of Nigeria. Yes, they were all great. No jokes. I don’t have such luxury when I’m reading Plato, The Great. He is such a writer. A great man. A Great Prophet. Of Our Time. Daddy. How did he know there was a man called Senator Dino Melaye in Okunland? This Plato is more than any president!
President Buhari needs to read him. Somebody please read Plato’s The Seventh Letter into Buhari’s good ear. Not the bad one, please. Yes, there was a line, in fact a whole paragraph in the letter where Nigerians apologized profusely to President Buhari for voting him into office. They said it’s time to go. If you don’t believe me, Google the document. It’s there for all to see. It’s history.
Plato called out Saraki and Tinubu goodly terrible names. I’m not making things up. But wait o, what if Plato was a man like Chief Obasanjo, a man who wrote books, a genius, and all the books are full of lies, contorted truths, shistories turned on their heads. And I’m here reading him. Jesus save us from us! We are back from 360 B.C.E. to torment hell into us!
Welcome back, Good People. Let’s ignore Plato. And dance away our problems. Who intellectual debauchery don epp? What intellectual debauchery!!! Debauchery?! What’s the word? What does that mean? I don’t know. I didn’t check, like many of our people, we don’t check, and if we do, we just don’t do. Like the last manifesto before the election. Who understood the document?! Not me. Who get that kain time? At least, I know I don’t. Life is too short to care about non-existent beauty.
Who needs beauty and good roads when there is Gala and LaCasera to sell. We are too much. We are like that. Ahen. Now that I have used the word “Debauchery” I can go back to reading Plato. It feels so cool showing off in a time like this. Bad time it had been. Worse time we had. This is Buhari time. So cool. Asiko yi a tun wa lara o. May this time soothe us like Aboniki Balm. Do they still sell the balm? My neck aches.
Who reads Plato when the country is not well-runned?! Have you ever heard of an hungry deadman? It will not happen. Strange times are here. A Woman, Pastor Wife. Killed. She was not dismembered, as in her head was still joined to her body when she was found dead in her own body. The vice-president church member. That’s an improvement, I mean that completeness of the dead. We are grateful. At least, the president urged us to respect each other’s religion. That was the last time the person who was killed and dismembered was found out not to have been dismembered but only killed. Did that make any sense? No? That wasn’t my intention too. Life is too short to make sense. Not when you can afford not to.
Everybody is tired. No, only some. People like us, poor masses who cannot afford a new car. That’s why we hurting on the good president. Leave him alone. Go grab your husbands and wives. He’s not your president. Can’t you see that? SMH. We are poor and our children finished from England universities. We can afford it. Go to hell if you can’t afford your own children. Why you born them? Useless (wo)man. Thank you. You too. Go and steal if that’s how easy stealing is.
The Man of Daura never wanted to be Head if State. We forced him. Like Tinubu and his gang did with a forced presidency. After the inauguration, somebody said it felt like a big mistake and a relief at the same time. That somebody was Sahara Reporters. I added the relief part. That is a lie.
Back to Plato, he mentioned fuel scarcity in The Seventh Letter. Look not too far. I will quote more when I finish reading him and submit my opinion on my blog. It’s a free world. Grab a copy of NTA and read. Many terrible things in the news these days. Oshiomole. How I wish this people can read Yoruba. Kai! Disaster Has Now Not Only Known Our House. It’s now living with us. At first, we thought it was a joke, we told Disaster we had no stood. Or is it stool. The thing to sit down. Like magic, Disaster produced a fine golden chair and sat with us. Eating, praying, sleeping with us real good. We are pregnant as I speak. May we deliver in peace. IJN!
We are enjoying it. All the roads had been bad, were bad, are bad, will be bad. Please somebody tell Oshiomole to stop the accusations. It’s not his fault. The loan he collected will not be asked back from him. He may keep the whole money. Patapata porongodo. He’s not a useless government. Unlike his predecessors. I don’t mean the people he replaced. I don’t mean anybody. Who wan die! I’m not visiting Nigeria anytime soon. The price hike is revoked. By a court of law. Who cares? After all, it was in the sky The Minister of Darkness announced the price hike. You don’t get it? Don’t worry. This is the truth. The man accepted to grant interview. He told us in the sky. You all must pay more for the darkness to get worse. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. Only if you agree to pay more. You all on your own now. He kept a promise. Bad belle will carry nobody nowhere. We are in this together. Congratulate him! Haba!
Buhari, unlike Jonathan, will serve two terms. He’s doing a good work. See him in the military regalia. He is so cute. Sai Nigeria! Just like Jonathan some years back. Some caps simply don’t fit again.
Our Buratai is a richman. He earned all that money. You haters are going to hate, anyway. Buratai. General Sir! We love you! Leave the haters out. EFCC will cater for them. They have started well, sealing off the offices. We have to start somewhere. Anywhere belle face. We need no plan. Professors support the corruption fight. I’m not a professor. I support too. What’s the price of tomatoes got to do with making Nigeria corruption free. The masses are in support. Like Nigerians in diaspora and home love to say. Na corruption we go chop? Who corruption don epp? Bad habit. I crazily like the sound of that word. “Epp!” I can’t have enough of it. That’s why I use it here. Like Debauchery. The thing sound well for ear. Like Nigeria. We need more of it.
At least trillions have been recovered in promise. Trillions of money. To fill the Atlantic Ocean! We are not broke. Hell forbid! We are not broke. We repeat that enough and the truth, this truth shall set us free. We are free. Free at last! The Man of the People has made it clear. No free money to share. Only wise and people friendly thieves can steal. Go back to livestock. Go back to where you come from. Go get life.
The president understands what Nigerians are going through. I assure you people, it’s like that in Germany. Everywhere in the EU. Money is scarce. Children beg for money on the streets in Brussels too. The Capital of the EU. I’m not joking. Begging is not a Nigerian problem. This is not peculiar. My people. Let us calm down and continue. It’s like that everywhere in the world. Who change don epp? LOL. SMH. I am not laughing out loud. Check my article on Pestilential Beggary in Brussels. The records are there.
Our children go to school in swamps. I mean not in Brussels. In Lagos. Those on festland have terrible classrooms. I went to school in that kind of place. Yes. When I saw VGC children for the first time. I mean I became a teacher after all and taught richpeople children. That was when I realized you either get rich or die trying. Nigeria is like America. Two countries. What is two? plenty countries in one. The rich don’t worry. They are rich. Pray you are not poor! I know what it means to be privileged. I have seen it with my my two korokoro eyes. Privilege. That word. Ehn. It’s not a richman word alone. There are privileged poor. Poverty get category. Nigeria is that kind. I know because I moved all my growing up years in that circle.
Let’s leave that. Back to the issues. When is the speed-train inauguration? We call it ICE. Inter-City-Express in Germany. In France. TGF. Or something more chic. America and the UK don’t have that. That’s what bad belle can do to a country. Nigeria. We are not bad belle. I heard the speed-train is in the pipeline. Many things are in the pipeline. That’s why Niger Delta Avengers are bombing pipelines. Goldrush. The mad goldrush. There is gold and plenty of madness. It will go round. Whatever that means. Boko Haram has been decapacitated. Our girls are not back. The ones found are living large, hail and hearty in Aso Rock. Our government has given us life. We are thankful. I swear we are.
The other time, good rich people in power and politics shared food with the poor. To celebrate End of Ramadan. That’s the spirit. In Ekiti state the same spirit worked. , the magic is near over. The stomach infrastructure has its limits. If given a chance, Nigerians would vote overwhelmingly for the Man of Ekiti. To fight later. Don’t argue it. We did it before. Facts are like that. Like PHCN and NEPA. Hardly distinguishable. Many years ago. We voted proudly for Jonathan, followed by Buhari. Fayose is not that bad a choice considering who we are and where we are headed. Even if he is not educated, Fayose speaks English. Good or bad. At least he speaks. Buhari hired lawyers to argue out his WAEC certificate, most times doesn’t understand what he’s saying, and he doesn’t care. Old people are like that. I am old too. Especially those of us who can afford the school fees of our children abroad. This is what we do. We don’t care.
Nigerians and our leaders are genius. We always set newer standard. We raise the bar. So that people with commonsense may never reign over us. Yes, reign. Not rule. Who commonsense don epp? That’s our genius. Think about it. We started with Obasanjo, a man with 20 thousand Naira to his name, according to the El-Rufai mythology, now we are here, dealing with a man who could not afford APC Nomination Form. I was moved to tears when I read the news. I wrote op-eds. Many people did. Professors. Diaspora and Home. Inbetween the two, we had Yar’Adua and Jonathan. Think am, my people. We are lucky. Who knows what the Christian God has in stock for us next.
I’m not curious. I’m interested. There is a chance I will make my first one million Euro with the information at the jackpot. Really, somebody should create an app, like Pokeman. Guess who is Nigeria’s next president and be rich. Nooooo. Rara. Not gender, names, or things like that. Those are for idiots. Not for Nigerians. Choose among the four we had so far. If you guess right, you win. Hey, I should patent my great idea before it’s stolen. I’m the next big thing. Albert Einstein. More books. More books. This summer will be bahd. Real bahd. I’m jobless. I need to find ways to turn this into money. Any epp? Who knows Aso Rock? Abeg. Na we-we-arrangement. Sure. I go settle. Thank you.

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