Tanimomo’s Piece of Mind(TPoM): Goodluck, Mr. President!
by ahjotnaija
President Muhammadu Buhari
President Buhari,
Now That You Are Inaugurated, you must be very busy so let’s do away with protocols. You do not like them, anyway. Congratulations on your installation as President of the Federal Republic. Once again I am proud to be Nigerian.
The task before you is herculean, like rolling a rock uphill. I am sure you know. So, lets start right here. These are worth considering.
Your predecessor, Mr. Jonathan, had some strong (wo)men in his cabinet, comparable to turbo-engine cars in performance, but he preferred to run at 30KM/H. Some of those who you may consider recruiting from the former cabinet are Osita Chidoka, Aminu Wali and I believe Barth Nnaji has great ideas and services to offer us. Pease do not forget the super brainy Omobola Johnson! Caution: Under no circumstance, should you be tempted to engage Mrs Okonjo Iweala!
Yes, I know we have to support local products and employ people, but please and please, come up with ways to regulate the monopolistic tendencies, particularly those of Dangote and Femi Otedola. Sir, look into the pension funds. A number of our (grand)parents worked in the civil service because they looked forward to a life of pension after service. Unfortunately, Chief OBJ in his eternal wisdom tampered with the plan. It is unfair to renege on agreements especially when assured pension was one of the motivations for staying in the civil service. Sir, I heard there are still issues to be attended to in NITEL. See to them immediately.
Mr President, as it is, you do not have an opposition. Forget about PDP, they are as dead as hieroglyphics. Take the people serious, their voice and yearnings are now the opposition. In addition, please tell all to stop calling you ‘Baba’. The last person we called Baba was a conceited farmer whom luck shone on, but decidedly left us a terrible legacy; your predecessor, Mr. Jonathan was one of many.
What is more, you are now the president. There are many badbelle people, this is not the time to take chances and leave your safety to fate. Do not do that paparazzi you did as president-elect by rejecting a Rolls Royce. Buy yourself a bullet proof car. If just one! Oh! I forgot you must have inherited one or two from your predecessor, please use one. You can sell the rest.
In conclusion, your son Yusuf is Nigerian’s hottest male right now! His name was everywhere on Twitter yesterday. Your son’s emergence into limelight is a parable; most times, people care less about the process or making of a product (in this case your son). For real, those, on whose fingertip Yusuf trended yesterday were not interested in Yusuf’s formative cum growing up years! They cared less that Yusuf was not ready-made, that his process of becoming this presumed hottest plus finest young man was rough and not always smooth! All they saw and WANTED is the full grown man! So, same is what they shall demand from you right now. I hope you are ready-made for this challenge! You must be!
Make sure you do significant things. Let those be the essence of your governance. Give us electricity. Secure our lives and properties. Give us jobs. Walahi, many Nigerians will worship you if you ensure our refineries work again! Watever it may cost, achieve these things. For your name and integrity.
Remember, you bear the appendage of a messiah. Hence if Nigerians do not see a messianic presidency, the over 12 Million people who voted against you will increase to your downfall!
Goodluck, Mr. President! Long live the Federal Republic of Nigeria!
ajagunna 