Tanimomo’s Piece of Mind (TPoM): Motivational Speaker, No Teach Me Nonsense!
by ahjotnaija

Mr. Tanimomo is a scholar resident in Germany. He guest-blogs on http://www.ahjotnaija.wordpress.com He is author of the popular bi-weekly: Tanimomo’s Piece of Mind (TPoM).
So, a few years ago, my cousin and I started a business, we were not expecting to be overnight billionaires but we had hoped to make money from the business at least a little something. So we started our business – executive fish farming. We formed an alliance that seemed good, he gave the money to start off; I gave the capital for day to day running . On paper and fueled by a high flow of youthful Adrenalin, we were going to be quoted on the stock exchange in no time.
Signs of failure started emerging when I could not meet up with the day to day running because I had under-estimated the cost of feed. I based my assumptions on one of those books I read. Worse things were to come. I managed to grow some of the fish but the buyers seemed to have colluded to run every fish farmer out of business. But it was not just the buyers, it was actually the government. Grapevine had it that frozen Thai catfish were imported and Uncle Aregbe in Osun was also through one of his programmes producing fish. It also boiled down to BAD GOVERNMENT.
Why did I foreground my piece with so long an epistle?
This is one of the types of stories your average motivational speaker wouldn’t tell you when he spurs you on to go make it, when he tells you about the lad he knows who has two jeeps from just following his passion. Or when he takes you through the Mrs. Alakija’s school of becoming a billionaire through fashion designing. He forgets to hint that Mrs Alakija sewed for the high and mighty. Once a very good friend showed me an article by one of them, the speaker was angry at the youths, very angry, he abused us and in his narcissistic ego masturbation he encouraged us to do something with our lives instead of talking about politics or soccer. Interestingly, our self-styled motivator however exposed his ignorance by enjoining us to do businesses like snail-rearing which he claims cost nothing. You see, I love agriculture and I know one or two things about animal rearing, and from experience, it is absolutely not possible to earn anything from snail-farming in the first 18 months. As our fathers say, ‘roasted dogmeat is delicious but what do we eat between the many hours when we set the dogmeat on fire and when it’s being roasted and ready to be eaten? So, what happens within the 18months? Feed on oxygen to survive?
It becomes worse when they encourage the government to abdicate its responsibilities and summon that American president’s quote of “not asking what your government can do for you.”
Anyways, as for me, I will ask my government what it can do for me, since up till now it has not done much. And please, in case you know one of these far-torn-from-reality motivational speakers, tell them never to compare us to youth in other countries. It is (was) easier for Bill Gates and Steve Jobs to do what they did because their government gave them the platform. I know a lot of Nigerian computer guys that can compete with Zuckerberg. Walahi, I am not lying, but they may never develop something like Facebook, Windows, Apple etc because Uncle Bolaji will not loan them money as they lent Steve Jobs and friend. NEPA will not bring light. MTN will thief your bundle before you finish browsing and Third Mainland Bridge traffic jam will kill their muse such that when they get home at midnight, sleep will be the most desirable. And if he lives in Ikorodu, he has to get up before 4:00 am.