TPoM: Extract from the Book of Momo

by ahjotnaija


Hand-in-pocket: Oluwaseun Tanimomo of TPoM

In the year Chief Bukola lied, I saw the Rock. And I saw the occupants sitting upon their thrones, their incomes, exalted far above the Earth, and their corruption filled the Rock as the waters covereth the sea. And the one cried to the other: “Stealing, stealing is our hobby, the whole Earth is stunned by our fraud!”

Then I cried with a great cry, “Oh! Woe unto us for we have elected certain men of lying lips and stealing hands!”

Then flew a griot and said unto me: “These things and more happen in thy beloved country.” Then he took me to a high mountain and showed me the riches of the lands and the wealth of the rulers of the land. And great was the wealth of the rulers of the land; they also laid up for themselves great treasures in Panama. But the griot sayeth unto me: “These shall be for a while, for the rulers of the word are ready to set thine people free.”

And it came to pass after these things that the rulers of the word gathered and said amongst themselves, “Come, let us go now to Panama for if we know where keepeth the rulers their money, we shall save many a life. And they wondered amongst themselves “Which man so ever robbeth his neighbour so much that his spoil refuseth to enter his Panama cap can kill”.

And a great strife arose amongst the rulers of the word for they argued amongst themselves, some said, “Those who steal and keep in Panama cap are also wicked for  stealing here a little, there a little so shall poverty come upon the people.” But they reasoned amongst themselves saying, “Let us go first to Panama and reveal those who have laid their treasures behind havens. For these men are wicked and unfaithful who reap where they soweth not, and giveth not unto Ceasar that which belong unto Ceasar in tax.” And they shall dig a many files many enough like the sand of the Earth.

Then the suffering of many men who were named was many; for some faced the wrath of the people and left their stools for others to occupy. Except those who were the rulers of Wazobiaplus. For the politicians of Wazobiaplus were the craftest and most subtil of men. And they devised a lie saying, “Lo the fathers of our wives are rich and these treasures are for them.” And the wives fearing the people said yes and no.

What shall we liken the parapoism in Wazobiaplus to? We shall liken it to a powerful king ruling a great land who called his servants and delivered goods unto them. To some he gave three talents, to some he gave two and to others he gave one but none hid his/her talent in the soil.

And the king shall say unto them, “For I was naked and ye clothed me with campaign money, hungry ye fed me with political will, sit at my right hand ye good and faithful servants and manage the riches of the land. And some of them were sons of Belial for they struck the Commonwealth flesh, while it was seething, with a fleshhook of three teeth, and all that the fleshhook brought, they kept for themselves.

Some servants were  smart, leaving their former lords, they went up to the king saying “Thou hath most righteous, King, for we know that all things work together for good for those who love You and are called according to the tenets of Thy party.